Wellness: Whole Person

Being well includes health body as well as healthy mind.

If you have numerous stressors, it is easy to overlook the importance of taking care of yourself. If you have children, you need to take good care of yourself so you are able to take care of them and also do the things that are important to you.

You can’t have a healthy body if you do not take good care of your mind. We know how important it is to eat healthy and get exercise for good physical health, but these are also important for good mental health. Exercise helps to improve mood and energy and nutrition helps support a healthy nervous system which is important for mental health.

Having good mental health makes you able to have pleasure in life and also to cope with problems, because you will have inner strength.

There are things you can do to protect your mental health. Having good mental health is more than just not having a mental illness, it means you have healthy thoughts, feelings, and good control over what you do.

Two important ways you can protect or improve mental health is to get good sleep and manage stress

Here are some strategies to help develop good sleep:

• Go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning. Avoid "sleeping in" (sleeping much later than your usual time for getting up). It will make you feel worse.
• Establish a bedtime "ritual" by doing the same things every night for an hour or two before bedtime so your body knows when it is time to go to sleep.
• Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
• Eat on a regular schedule and avoid a heavy meal prior to going to bed. Don't skip any meals.
• Eat plenty of dairy foods and dark green leafy vegetables.
• Exercise daily, but avoid strenuous or invigorating activity before going to bed.
• Play soothing music on a tape or CD that shuts off automatically after you are in bed.
• Try a turkey sandwich and a glass of milk before bedtime to make you feel drowsy.
• Try having a small snack before you go to bed, something like a piece of fruit and a piece of cheese, so you don't wake up hungry in the middle of the night. Have a similar small snack if you awaken in the middle of the night.
• Take a warm bath or shower before going to bed.
• Drink a cup of herbal chamomile tea before going to bed.

 

Stress and mental health

Stress can happen for many reasons. Stress can be brought about by relationship problems, feeling unsafe, losses of various kinds, or emergency situation.

It's hard to stay calm and relaxed when we have many situations to handle.

Sometimes we feel many of the signs and symptoms of stress but we do not recognize it until it gets severe. If you are having these symptoms, find some ways to de-stress:

Common symptoms of stress include:

• Headache
• Sleep problems
• Trouble concentrating
• Short-temper
• Upset stomach
• Loss of enjoyment of life
• Sadness
• Anxiety

As women, we have so many different responsibilities: parenting, friend, helping our parents, work, etc. and it is hard to find ways to reduce our stress, but it's important to find those ways. Your health depends on it.

Here are a few ideas:

• Set limits. Don’t try to manage everything at once. Work on problems little by little. Set limits for yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to say NO to requests for your time and energy.

Relax

• Control your breathing: If you're feeling stressed, control your breathing in a way that makes you breathe slower and helps your muscles relax. This sounds so simple, but if you actually try it, and keep it up for at least 10 minutes, your body’s stress reaction will begin to calm down. Here is a very simple way to control breathing to reduce stress:

Breathe in through your nose to a count of 3

Hold your breath for a count of 3

Exhale for a count of 3

Repeat this sequence until you begin to feel your body relax. It REALLY WORKS!

• Stretch. Stretching can also help relax your muscles and make you feel less tense.
• Take time to do something you want to do. We all have lots of things that we have to do. But often we don't take the time to do the things that we really want to do. It could be listening to music, reading a good book, or going to a movie.

(Source: Office on Women’s Health, (WomensHealth. gov {USDHHS})

The Office of Women’s Health is a great resource for learning how to manage stress. Here is the link:

http://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/index.html

Written by: Joan Neave

Resiliency. . . .What is resiliency?

re·sil·ience

noun \ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s\

: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

The Kenosha County Survivors and Allies Task Force recently had Marilyn Kile come and discuss resiliency with us.  Marilyn has over 30 years’ experience in the Sexual Violence field. She served as the first Sexual Assault Prevention Coordinator and led the Sexual Assault Advocate Team at UW-Whitewater. She has also worked as a psychotherapist with survivors.

Marilyn provided an amazing talk on how survivors are extremely resilient and provided us with some characteristics and tips that we would like to share.

Characteristics of a Resilient Person

·         Thrives though adversity

·         Control of emotional expression and impulsivity

·         Accurately assess cause and effect

·         Believes in self worth and abilities

·         Maintains hope and positive outlook

·         Makes good use of awn abilities

·         Makes good use of environmental support

·         Knows life is not fair

How many of these characteristics do you feel you have? One, two, a few? People are born with different levels of resiliency and the good thing is that we can all work on becoming more resilient.

Building Resiliency 

·         See challenges not problems – abundance not scarcity, optimism and hope

·         Accept that change is the only constant

·         Use positive coping/problem solving skills

·         Know one can’t control others, only one’s own response and one’s choices

·         Practice self are – nutrition, exercise, sunlight, sleep, relaxation and spiritual connection

·         Recognize and use personal strengths – trust in own abilities

·         Analyze before reacting – pause, breath, calm

·         Challenge negative automatic thoughts

·         Put things in perspective – big picture, not all/none or always/never

·         Avoid toxic/negative social environments and people

·         Make positive social connections

·         Work through and not around life’s hardships

·         See growth in adversity, meaning in all things

·         See a better future – notice small improvements

·         Let go and move on

We are all resilient people; it’s up to us how resilient we will be.

 

Written by: Andi Connolly-Meyers, WCH Volunteer Coordinator

What is the Value of a Volunteer?

April was Volunteer Appreciation Month; as April has come to a close we reflect on our volunteers. Individuals volunteer for many reasons; to give back to the community, to support a cause they believe in, to gain experience or simply to help another person. Whatever the reason here in the nonprofit sector the value of a volunteer is frequently discussed. You often hear agencies tell volunteers “We couldn’t do it without you.” And that is the reality!

In 2012 in the state of Wisconsin:

• 35.6% of residents volunteer, ranking them 8th among the 50 states and Washington, DC.
• 36.7 volunteer hours per resident.
• 1.62 million volunteers.
• 165.3 million hours of service.
• $3.7 billion of service contributed.
• 60.6% of residents donate to charity.
• 13.6% of residents participate in public meetings.
• 34.7% of residents over age 55 volunteer.

See national statistics here.

Did you know that WCH has utilizes volunteers in the following ways:

• Administration – Assist in answering phones, shredding of documents, organizing supplies, helping stuff envelopes and address mailings.
• Shelter – Assist in answering the door, working with residents to find resources, meal preparations, housekeeping, and donation organization.
• Children’s Program – Provide child care during resident groups, homework help, assist staff with facilitation of groups for children witnesses of domestic violence, lead arts and crafts and story time.
• On Call Advocate – Provide information, support, and referral for follow up to victims, family members, and friends when responding to the hospital and law enforcement agencies during evening, weekend, and holiday hours.
• Thrift Store – Assist staff with donation sorting, organizing and inventory rotation.
• Events - Volunteers are also needed to help with our major fundraising events throughout the year; as well as hosting information booths at community events.

The estimated value of a Wisconsin volunteer’s time for 2013 is $21.78 per hour. Here are Women and Children’s Horizons we utilized 133 volunteers last year totaling 4,607.75 hours of service. That means volunteers provided WCH with a total of $100,356.80 worth of service. Could we have done it without you? NO WAY!

Thank you to all of the volunteers that have given their time and talents to WCH in the past year, we really couldn’t have done it without you and we look forward to continuing to work with you!

If you are interested in volunteering please contact Andi Connolly-Meyers.

 

Written by: Andi Connolly-Meyers, WCH Volunteer Program Coordinator

 

Making Healthy Sexual Decisions

Making Healthy Sexual Decisions

What is Sexual Health?

Like other ways we care for ourselves, we can make decisions that promote our sexual health.

Sexual health means you have information and skills and use them to make choices to act responsibly to protect your own health and also the health of others.

Sexuality is an important part of the personality of every human being.

Sexual activity is only one part of sexuality. It also involves gender identity and roles, intimacy, and reproduction. It involves values, beliefs, attitudes, desires, thoughts and behaviors, and relationships.

Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality.

It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.

Taking care of your sexual health is an important part of maintaining your health in general. To ensure that you are sexually healthy, you need to have access to confidential, non-judgmental sexual and reproductive information and services to help you make informed decisions throughout your life.

You may wish to explore these links as they are helpful for all the information and services that can help you make informed decisions. 

Sexual Relationships
Sexual Decision-Making

Talking with Your Child about Sexual Health

 If you are a parent, you are the most important sex educator for them

Children start the lifelong process of learning about sexuality from the time they are born. As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to help your child grow up to be a loving, caring, sexually healthy adult.

Sexuality is much more than sex. It includes our sense of who we are and how we feel about ourselves as sexual beings. You teach your child by what you do and say. The tone of your voice and the feelings you express are as important as the words you use.

Most of us grew up in families and societies that gave us confusing messages about sex. You may feel uncomfortable about talking with your child if you grew up with negative messages or confusing information.

Things to consider:

• Who talked to you about sex?
• What are your own attitudes about sex?
• How might you pass on your feelings - both positive and negative to your child?

Below is a helpful link to talk to your pre/teen aged child:

Love is Respect

Written by: Joan Neave RN, MSN,  Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse,  Assistant Professor of Nursing Herzing University, Clinical Nurse Educator Rogers Memorial Hospital, Joan has several years experience working with survivors across the lifespan.

Teaching Children with Autism about Sex and Sexuality

It can be uncomfortable for any parent to teach their children about sex and sexuality.  Parents of children with special needs, such as children with autism, often face additional challenges.  At the intersection of Autism Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, here are some important points to consider:

• A study on child abuse and autism found that caregivers reported that 16.6% of children with autism had been sexually abused. Mandell, 2005

• The abuse rate for children with a developmental disability is 3.4 times the rate of children without disabilities (Boystown, 2001, Patricia Sullivan).

• People with disabilities have questions, concerns, and feelings about sex, but may need additional help making sense of it all.

• All children need guidance in order to learn appropriate boundaries for their own behavior and the behavior of others.

Many of the suggestions about how to go about talking about sex and sexuality with children in general apply when talking to children with autism/on the autism spectrum:

• Start early.  A discussion about sex and sexuality can begin by teaching your child what their body parts are called, and that there are certain parts of the body that are considered private.  Take this conversation a step further by talking about differences between the bodies of boys and girls.

• Use teachable moments to continue the conversation about sex and sexuality.  These teachable moments may be something as simple as witnessing a baby having his/her diaper changed (differences between boys and girls), seeing a woman who is pregnant (where babies come from), or bath time (identifying body parts, the importance of good hygiene).  As your child gets older, teachable moments may include things such as a presentation about puberty provided by your child’s school, a news story, or a movie or TV show that deals with an aspect of sexuality.

• No one has the right to touch someone without permission. 

• Think ahead to your child’s next step in their development.  Your child’s education needs to grow with them.  Prepare your child for the changes they and their bodies will experience during puberty before they reach this stage in their physical development.  Teach girls about their period and how to take care of their bodies and hygiene needs.  Teach boys about erections and “wet dreams” and how to handle these situations.

• Encourage your child to come to you with any questions they may have about their changing bodies, sex, or sexuality.  Because some children may not know how to ask questions about the information they will need as they grow and develop, don’t wait for your child to come to you.  Be proactive.

• Teach your child about your morals and values about sex and relationships, and why you believe as you do. 
  

There are resources available to help parents and other caregivers teach children with autism about sex and sexuality.  Here are a few, in no particular order*:

Autism NOW: Resources for Learning about Sexuality
GULP! Talking with Your Kids about Sexuality
This Presentation by Peter Gerhardt - Sexuality & Sexuality Instruction with

Learners with Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Developmental Disabilities

Parent Coaching For Autism -  This link addresses 10 reasons parents have given for not talking with children about sexual abuse and  why children need to be taught about the realities of abuse.
Autism Speaks

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable or unsure when talking about sex and related topics with your child.  As a parent, you are in a unique position to give your child the tools they need to be as safe as they can be.

Are you the parent or caregiver of a child with autism/on the autism spectrum?  Do you have any additional ideas about how to teach children with special needs about sex and sexuality?  Let us know in the comments-we’d love to hear from you!

 

*Please note that this is not a complete list of all the resources available that may prove to be beneficial for parents/caregivers of children with autism/ASD.  These links are provided as a convenience, and Women and Children’s Horizons is not responsible for the content that may be encountered on external websites.
 

Written by: Erin Davis, WCH Program Development Coordinator

“Stressed? Yes, I am stressed. I know I need to make changes, but right now, in the middle of everything going on in my life, how can I do that?! What can I do in less than 3 minutes that will make a difference?”

Well, believe it or not, there are things that you can do, in very little time, that can make a difference in your life, the lives of your kids or others around you, and your health!

1. Play that funky music – Yes, we all have music that makes us feel good. I will admit that one of mine is from that old 1980's TV show “The Greatest American Hero”. Cheesy show, yes, but I can hear that song in my head - “Believe it or not, I'm walking on air...”

• What's your song(s)? Do you play them to help lift your spirits?
• Play them loud in the car when no one is around and sing out loud!
• And did you know? - A review of 23 studies found that listening to music could decrease blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety levels.

Challenge: For those that want to challenge yourself, play that music and actually dance around your house. If you have young children, they will probably love it and join in. If you have teenagers, they will wish they weren't related to you; but, they probably wish that anyway!

2. Peel an orange – yes, it can be that simple. Peeling an orange releases linalool, a compound shown to help lower stress. Or, have the kids peel the orange while you start dinner. They get a healthy snack until dinner is ready and you can all benefit!

3. Take a deep breath – Yes, it can be that simple. Stop what you are doing for 10 seconds, closing your eyes may help, and take in a full breath. Let your belly expand and your shoulders stay down and relaxed while you inhale. Then, slowly exhale, pulling your belly in and feeling negativity flow out of you.

Challenge – Take a full 30 seconds or a minute for several deep, re-energizing breaths. You can even set the alarm on your phone or computer to remind you to take 3 full breaths 4 times a day. That's only about 2 minutes total. :)

4. Laugh! - Yes, finding a way to incorporate laughter into your day will do so many things to help you. It increases oxygen flow, decreases your pulse rate, and releases endorphins which are nature's feel-good pain-killer.

Once you start feeling better, then you can think about fitting in 10 minutes of stretching after work or even a 45 minute yoga class. But for NOW, find things you can do in your life, sprinkled throughout the day.

Written by: Shawna Burns Freels, MA holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology in Chicago, IL. She is also a licensed massage therapist with over 20 years experience. Shawna specializes in Myofascial Release therapy and has trained extensively with John Barnes, the creator of Myofascial Release. Shawna has been asked to speak to numerous groups across the state about reducing the effects of stress. Shawna is the owner and director of Radiant Path Wellness, providing natural healing in Bristol, WI. shawna@radiant-path.org

April is also STD/STI Education and Awareness Month

Taking good care of yourself, including sexual health, is a decision you have the right to exercise. You can be your own best advocate! If you have children, you can advocate for them too concerning prevention of STI’s either in the present, or in their future by having them vaccinated for certain sexually transmitted diseases. Sometimes a woman might not immediately think of exposure to the risk of STI’s in the midst of crisis and finding a safe place to stay.

It is important for many reasons to be aware of the prevention and risk factors for sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) because untreated STI’s can lead to long term problems such as infertility or chronic serious illnesses such as Hepatitis B or HIV.

STI’s affect individuals of all ages and types of people. See the section below for an overview of how serious the problem is especially for young people

The best way to prevent long lasting damage to body tissues and functions is to prevent them by reducing risk factors:

• Abstinence, monogamy, or reduction of sex partners
• Correct and consistent use of the male latex condom is highly effective in reducing STD transmission. Use a condom every time you have anal, vaginal, or oral sex
• Get vaccinated for Hepatitis B and HPV
• Get screened for HPV, Hepatitis B, HIV, chlamydiaCDC Website
• If exposed to unprotected sex, get tested

Many STI’s can be treated successfully like other types of infections with the appropriate antibiotics. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) provides information that is based on research. It is also a rich source of information on each type of STI, and recommendations for screening and vaccination. Use the link below to learn more about these: http://www.cdc.gov/std/

Vaccinations

Vaccines are safe, effective, and recommended ways to prevent hepatitis B and HPV. HPV vaccines for males and females can protect against some of the most common types of HPV. It is best to get all three doses (shots) before becoming sexually active. However, HPV vaccines are recommended for all teen girls and women through age 26 and all teen boys and men through age 21, who did not get all three doses of the vaccine when they were younger. You should also get vaccinated for hepatitis B if you were not vaccinated when you were younger. (Source: CDC)

Screening and Testing

• All adults and adolescents from ages 13 to 64 should be tested at least once for HIV.
• Annual chlamydia screening for all sexually active women age 25 and under, as well as older women with risk factors such as new or multiple sex partners.
• Yearly gonorrhea screening for at-risk sexually active women (e.g., those with new or multiple sex partners, and women who live in communities with a high burden of disease).
• Syphilis, HIV, chlamydia, and hepatitis B screening for all pregnant women, and gonorrhea screening for at-risk pregnant women starting early in pregnancy, with repeat testing as needed, to protect the health of mothers and their infants.
• Screening at least once a year for syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea for all sexually active gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM). MSM who have multiple or anonymous partners should be screened more frequently for STDs (i.e., at 3-to-6 month intervals).
• Anyone who has unsafe sex or shares injection drug equipment should get tested for HIV at least once a year. Sexually active gay and bisexual men may benefit from more frequent testing (e.g., every 3 to 6 months).                                     (Source: CDC)

If you know you are infected you can take steps to protect yourself and your partners.

Be sure to ask a healthcare provider to test you for STDs — asking is the only way to know whether you are receiving the right tests. And don’t forget to tell your partner to ask a healthcare provider about STD testing as well.

Many STDs can be easily diagnosed and treated. If either you or your partner is infected, both of you need to receive treatment at the same time to avoid getting re-infected. (Source: CDC)

Use the helpful link below to find where you can go for testing, by entering a zip code:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/prevention/default.htm

Written by: Joan Neave RN, MSN,  Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse,  Assistant Professor of Nursing

Herzing University, Clinical Nurse Educator Rogers Memorial Hospital, Joan has several years experience working with survivors across the lifespan.