Resiliency. . . .What is resiliency?

re·sil·ience

noun \ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s\

: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

The Kenosha County Survivors and Allies Task Force recently had Marilyn Kile come and discuss resiliency with us.  Marilyn has over 30 years’ experience in the Sexual Violence field. She served as the first Sexual Assault Prevention Coordinator and led the Sexual Assault Advocate Team at UW-Whitewater. She has also worked as a psychotherapist with survivors.

Marilyn provided an amazing talk on how survivors are extremely resilient and provided us with some characteristics and tips that we would like to share.

Characteristics of a Resilient Person

·         Thrives though adversity

·         Control of emotional expression and impulsivity

·         Accurately assess cause and effect

·         Believes in self worth and abilities

·         Maintains hope and positive outlook

·         Makes good use of awn abilities

·         Makes good use of environmental support

·         Knows life is not fair

How many of these characteristics do you feel you have? One, two, a few? People are born with different levels of resiliency and the good thing is that we can all work on becoming more resilient.

Building Resiliency 

·         See challenges not problems – abundance not scarcity, optimism and hope

·         Accept that change is the only constant

·         Use positive coping/problem solving skills

·         Know one can’t control others, only one’s own response and one’s choices

·         Practice self are – nutrition, exercise, sunlight, sleep, relaxation and spiritual connection

·         Recognize and use personal strengths – trust in own abilities

·         Analyze before reacting – pause, breath, calm

·         Challenge negative automatic thoughts

·         Put things in perspective – big picture, not all/none or always/never

·         Avoid toxic/negative social environments and people

·         Make positive social connections

·         Work through and not around life’s hardships

·         See growth in adversity, meaning in all things

·         See a better future – notice small improvements

·         Let go and move on

We are all resilient people; it’s up to us how resilient we will be.

 

Written by: Andi Connolly-Meyers, WCH Volunteer Coordinator