Making Healthy Sexual Decisions

Making Healthy Sexual Decisions

What is Sexual Health?

Like other ways we care for ourselves, we can make decisions that promote our sexual health.

Sexual health means you have information and skills and use them to make choices to act responsibly to protect your own health and also the health of others.

Sexuality is an important part of the personality of every human being.

Sexual activity is only one part of sexuality. It also involves gender identity and roles, intimacy, and reproduction. It involves values, beliefs, attitudes, desires, thoughts and behaviors, and relationships.

Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality.

It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.

Taking care of your sexual health is an important part of maintaining your health in general. To ensure that you are sexually healthy, you need to have access to confidential, non-judgmental sexual and reproductive information and services to help you make informed decisions throughout your life.

You may wish to explore these links as they are helpful for all the information and services that can help you make informed decisions. 

Sexual Relationships
Sexual Decision-Making

Talking with Your Child about Sexual Health

 If you are a parent, you are the most important sex educator for them

Children start the lifelong process of learning about sexuality from the time they are born. As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to help your child grow up to be a loving, caring, sexually healthy adult.

Sexuality is much more than sex. It includes our sense of who we are and how we feel about ourselves as sexual beings. You teach your child by what you do and say. The tone of your voice and the feelings you express are as important as the words you use.

Most of us grew up in families and societies that gave us confusing messages about sex. You may feel uncomfortable about talking with your child if you grew up with negative messages or confusing information.

Things to consider:

• Who talked to you about sex?
• What are your own attitudes about sex?
• How might you pass on your feelings - both positive and negative to your child?

Below is a helpful link to talk to your pre/teen aged child:

Love is Respect

Written by: Joan Neave RN, MSN,  Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse,  Assistant Professor of Nursing Herzing University, Clinical Nurse Educator Rogers Memorial Hospital, Joan has several years experience working with survivors across the lifespan.

Teaching Children with Autism about Sex and Sexuality

It can be uncomfortable for any parent to teach their children about sex and sexuality.  Parents of children with special needs, such as children with autism, often face additional challenges.  At the intersection of Autism Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, here are some important points to consider:

• A study on child abuse and autism found that caregivers reported that 16.6% of children with autism had been sexually abused. Mandell, 2005

• The abuse rate for children with a developmental disability is 3.4 times the rate of children without disabilities (Boystown, 2001, Patricia Sullivan).

• People with disabilities have questions, concerns, and feelings about sex, but may need additional help making sense of it all.

• All children need guidance in order to learn appropriate boundaries for their own behavior and the behavior of others.

Many of the suggestions about how to go about talking about sex and sexuality with children in general apply when talking to children with autism/on the autism spectrum:

• Start early.  A discussion about sex and sexuality can begin by teaching your child what their body parts are called, and that there are certain parts of the body that are considered private.  Take this conversation a step further by talking about differences between the bodies of boys and girls.

• Use teachable moments to continue the conversation about sex and sexuality.  These teachable moments may be something as simple as witnessing a baby having his/her diaper changed (differences between boys and girls), seeing a woman who is pregnant (where babies come from), or bath time (identifying body parts, the importance of good hygiene).  As your child gets older, teachable moments may include things such as a presentation about puberty provided by your child’s school, a news story, or a movie or TV show that deals with an aspect of sexuality.

• No one has the right to touch someone without permission. 

• Think ahead to your child’s next step in their development.  Your child’s education needs to grow with them.  Prepare your child for the changes they and their bodies will experience during puberty before they reach this stage in their physical development.  Teach girls about their period and how to take care of their bodies and hygiene needs.  Teach boys about erections and “wet dreams” and how to handle these situations.

• Encourage your child to come to you with any questions they may have about their changing bodies, sex, or sexuality.  Because some children may not know how to ask questions about the information they will need as they grow and develop, don’t wait for your child to come to you.  Be proactive.

• Teach your child about your morals and values about sex and relationships, and why you believe as you do. 
  

There are resources available to help parents and other caregivers teach children with autism about sex and sexuality.  Here are a few, in no particular order*:

Autism NOW: Resources for Learning about Sexuality
GULP! Talking with Your Kids about Sexuality
This Presentation by Peter Gerhardt - Sexuality & Sexuality Instruction with

Learners with Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Developmental Disabilities

Parent Coaching For Autism -  This link addresses 10 reasons parents have given for not talking with children about sexual abuse and  why children need to be taught about the realities of abuse.
Autism Speaks

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable or unsure when talking about sex and related topics with your child.  As a parent, you are in a unique position to give your child the tools they need to be as safe as they can be.

Are you the parent or caregiver of a child with autism/on the autism spectrum?  Do you have any additional ideas about how to teach children with special needs about sex and sexuality?  Let us know in the comments-we’d love to hear from you!

 

*Please note that this is not a complete list of all the resources available that may prove to be beneficial for parents/caregivers of children with autism/ASD.  These links are provided as a convenience, and Women and Children’s Horizons is not responsible for the content that may be encountered on external websites.
 

Written by: Erin Davis, WCH Program Development Coordinator

“Stressed? Yes, I am stressed. I know I need to make changes, but right now, in the middle of everything going on in my life, how can I do that?! What can I do in less than 3 minutes that will make a difference?”

Well, believe it or not, there are things that you can do, in very little time, that can make a difference in your life, the lives of your kids or others around you, and your health!

1. Play that funky music – Yes, we all have music that makes us feel good. I will admit that one of mine is from that old 1980's TV show “The Greatest American Hero”. Cheesy show, yes, but I can hear that song in my head - “Believe it or not, I'm walking on air...”

• What's your song(s)? Do you play them to help lift your spirits?
• Play them loud in the car when no one is around and sing out loud!
• And did you know? - A review of 23 studies found that listening to music could decrease blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety levels.

Challenge: For those that want to challenge yourself, play that music and actually dance around your house. If you have young children, they will probably love it and join in. If you have teenagers, they will wish they weren't related to you; but, they probably wish that anyway!

2. Peel an orange – yes, it can be that simple. Peeling an orange releases linalool, a compound shown to help lower stress. Or, have the kids peel the orange while you start dinner. They get a healthy snack until dinner is ready and you can all benefit!

3. Take a deep breath – Yes, it can be that simple. Stop what you are doing for 10 seconds, closing your eyes may help, and take in a full breath. Let your belly expand and your shoulders stay down and relaxed while you inhale. Then, slowly exhale, pulling your belly in and feeling negativity flow out of you.

Challenge – Take a full 30 seconds or a minute for several deep, re-energizing breaths. You can even set the alarm on your phone or computer to remind you to take 3 full breaths 4 times a day. That's only about 2 minutes total. :)

4. Laugh! - Yes, finding a way to incorporate laughter into your day will do so many things to help you. It increases oxygen flow, decreases your pulse rate, and releases endorphins which are nature's feel-good pain-killer.

Once you start feeling better, then you can think about fitting in 10 minutes of stretching after work or even a 45 minute yoga class. But for NOW, find things you can do in your life, sprinkled throughout the day.

Written by: Shawna Burns Freels, MA holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology in Chicago, IL. She is also a licensed massage therapist with over 20 years experience. Shawna specializes in Myofascial Release therapy and has trained extensively with John Barnes, the creator of Myofascial Release. Shawna has been asked to speak to numerous groups across the state about reducing the effects of stress. Shawna is the owner and director of Radiant Path Wellness, providing natural healing in Bristol, WI. shawna@radiant-path.org

April is also STD/STI Education and Awareness Month

Taking good care of yourself, including sexual health, is a decision you have the right to exercise. You can be your own best advocate! If you have children, you can advocate for them too concerning prevention of STI’s either in the present, or in their future by having them vaccinated for certain sexually transmitted diseases. Sometimes a woman might not immediately think of exposure to the risk of STI’s in the midst of crisis and finding a safe place to stay.

It is important for many reasons to be aware of the prevention and risk factors for sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) because untreated STI’s can lead to long term problems such as infertility or chronic serious illnesses such as Hepatitis B or HIV.

STI’s affect individuals of all ages and types of people. See the section below for an overview of how serious the problem is especially for young people

The best way to prevent long lasting damage to body tissues and functions is to prevent them by reducing risk factors:

• Abstinence, monogamy, or reduction of sex partners
• Correct and consistent use of the male latex condom is highly effective in reducing STD transmission. Use a condom every time you have anal, vaginal, or oral sex
• Get vaccinated for Hepatitis B and HPV
• Get screened for HPV, Hepatitis B, HIV, chlamydiaCDC Website
• If exposed to unprotected sex, get tested

Many STI’s can be treated successfully like other types of infections with the appropriate antibiotics. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) provides information that is based on research. It is also a rich source of information on each type of STI, and recommendations for screening and vaccination. Use the link below to learn more about these: http://www.cdc.gov/std/

Vaccinations

Vaccines are safe, effective, and recommended ways to prevent hepatitis B and HPV. HPV vaccines for males and females can protect against some of the most common types of HPV. It is best to get all three doses (shots) before becoming sexually active. However, HPV vaccines are recommended for all teen girls and women through age 26 and all teen boys and men through age 21, who did not get all three doses of the vaccine when they were younger. You should also get vaccinated for hepatitis B if you were not vaccinated when you were younger. (Source: CDC)

Screening and Testing

• All adults and adolescents from ages 13 to 64 should be tested at least once for HIV.
• Annual chlamydia screening for all sexually active women age 25 and under, as well as older women with risk factors such as new or multiple sex partners.
• Yearly gonorrhea screening for at-risk sexually active women (e.g., those with new or multiple sex partners, and women who live in communities with a high burden of disease).
• Syphilis, HIV, chlamydia, and hepatitis B screening for all pregnant women, and gonorrhea screening for at-risk pregnant women starting early in pregnancy, with repeat testing as needed, to protect the health of mothers and their infants.
• Screening at least once a year for syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea for all sexually active gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM). MSM who have multiple or anonymous partners should be screened more frequently for STDs (i.e., at 3-to-6 month intervals).
• Anyone who has unsafe sex or shares injection drug equipment should get tested for HIV at least once a year. Sexually active gay and bisexual men may benefit from more frequent testing (e.g., every 3 to 6 months).                                     (Source: CDC)

If you know you are infected you can take steps to protect yourself and your partners.

Be sure to ask a healthcare provider to test you for STDs — asking is the only way to know whether you are receiving the right tests. And don’t forget to tell your partner to ask a healthcare provider about STD testing as well.

Many STDs can be easily diagnosed and treated. If either you or your partner is infected, both of you need to receive treatment at the same time to avoid getting re-infected. (Source: CDC)

Use the helpful link below to find where you can go for testing, by entering a zip code:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/prevention/default.htm

Written by: Joan Neave RN, MSN,  Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse,  Assistant Professor of Nursing

Herzing University, Clinical Nurse Educator Rogers Memorial Hospital, Joan has several years experience working with survivors across the lifespan.

 

 

 

What is Blue Ribbon Anthology?

April is child abuse and neglect prevention month.  This provides an opportunity to raise awareness and educate the community about the reality that child abuse and neglect is everyone’s responsibility.  It is a community’s duty to build strong families and keep kids safe.  Of course, child abuse doesn’t just happen in April, but our Turn the Town Blue campaign allows us to focus on this problem that we face year round.

No one wants to see children abused but we often wonder, “What can I really do?”  We hope that our Blue Ribbon Anthology can answer that question.  This dramatic presentation, similar to a one act play, demonstrates, that child care providers, neighbors, teachers, professionals and others have a vital part to play in child abuse prevention. Anthologies are being presented across the community during April to reach a variety of audiences, including church members, child care providers, human services clients, and college students.   Attendees meet Angie, a stressed parent of three who is just trying to make it, a day at a time.  We follow Angie as she gathers resources and finds a support system, that ultimately helps her avoid a terrible tragedy.  Research about the Protective Factors that help families become resilient to abuse and neglect indicates that families lacking basic resources, such as food shelter, opportunities to socialize and parenting knowledge are more likely to abuse.  The Anthology emphasizes that it is the simple acts of kindness, the intentional building of relationships with parents by teachers and workers, and the understanding that all parents need help sometimes is what makes a community strong.  Our annual month long campaign celebrates strong families and communities that invest in resources to help those that struggle. Everybody needs help!

How will you help keep a child safe this month and every month?  For more information on becoming part of this campaign, call Karyn van Heijningen, Community Impact Programs Inc, at 945-0241. For more information about the Blue Ribbon Anthology or to get resources to strengthen your family and build resiliency, call Nancy Morey, Coordinator of Prevention Services Network, at 697-4584.

 

 

 The Blue Ribbon Anthology

A dramatic Reading

 

A performance demonstrating how a

community unites to prevent child abuse and neglect.

Come see how YOU can help keep kids safe.

 

Monday, April 14^th, 11:00 AM, Outreach Center

2006 60^th Street, Kenosha, WI

Registration required: Megan @ 262-652-5545

 

Thursday, April 17^th, 6:30 PM Kenosha County Center

Hwys:45 & 50, Bristol, WI

Registration required: Kathy Burns @ 262-697-4628

 

Wednesday, April 23^rd, 11:30 AM Gateway College, Commons Area

3520 30^th Avenue, Kenosha, WI

 

Written by: Karyn van Heijningen, Community Impact Programs Inc

 

 

Characteristics of Resilient People

Alcohol-Free Weekend 2014

April tends to be a busy month for sexual assault advocates. Not only is it Sexual Assault Awareness Month, but it’s also Child Abuse and Neglect Awareness Month.
As if these weren’t two big enough issues to tackle during one 30-day period,
April is also Alcohol Awareness Month.

April 4-6, 2014 is The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence’s annual Alcohol-Free Weekend. This event is trying to raise public awareness about the use of alcohol and how alcohol affects the community.

Here at Women and Children’s Horizons, we serve people who have been affected by sexual assault, including child sexual abuse, and domestic violence. We also provide education about these issues and healthy relationships in general. During the course of our work, it’s not uncommon for us to encounter the impact alcohol can have on the people we serve. We also hear a lot of myths and misconceptions about the intersections between sexual assault, domestic violence, and alcohol. Here are 3 things we want you to know:

1. Alcohol doesn’t cause abuse.

Perpetrators of abuse often make excuses and avoid taking responsibility for their abusive behaviors. In some abusive relationships, the likelihood of physical abuse may increase when an abuser has been drinking. However, other forms of abuse and controlling behaviors such as emotional abuse and isolation may be taking place even when the abuser is sober.

Alcohol doesn’t cause sexual assault, either. A person who is not motivated to commit a sexual assault wouldn’t, whether under the influence or sober.

2. Victims who have been drinking are not “asking” to be abused or assaulted.

No one deserves to be abused or assaulted. Unfortunately, our society has a strange way of looking at incidents of sexual assault that involve alcohol. If a perpetrator of abuse has been drinking, s/he is seen as being less responsible for their behavior and choices. However, if a victim has been drinking, s/he is often blamed for not making better choices and held more accountable for their choices. Some perpetrators will use victim blaming as an effective tactic to avoid accountability for the violence/abuse they have committed.

Perpetrators alone are responsible for their abusive behaviors.

3. Many victims of abuse turn to alcohol and other drugs as a way of coping with their experiences.

• Victims of rape are 13.4 times more likely to develop two or more alcohol related problems and 26 times more likely to have two or more serious drug abuse-related problems. (Kilpatrick and Aciemo (2003) "Menta l Health Needs of Crime Victims: Epidemiology and Outcomes", Journal of Traumatic Stress).
• In a study of male survivors sexually abused as children, over 80% had a history of substance abuse. (Lisak, David, (1994) "The Psychological Impact of Sexual Abuse: Content Analysis of Interviews with Male Survivors." Journal of Traumatic Stress , 7(4): 525-548).
• Teenagers with alcohol and drug problems are 6 to 12 times more likely to have a history of being physically abused and 18 to 21 times more likely to have been sexually abused than those without alcohol and drug problems. (Clark, H.W., McClanahan, T.M., Sees, K.L., "Cultural Aspects of Adolescent Addiction and Treatment," (Spring 1997) Valparaaiso University Law Review, Volume 31:2).
• The Department of Justice found in 2002 that 36 percent of victims in domestic violence programs also had problems with substance abuse.

If you are a victim or survivor of abuse struggling with addiction, help is available. In Kenosha County, contact us at 262-652-9900 for information and referrals to local community resources. If you are from a different location within the United States, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) to be connected with a program close to you.

Can you abstain from drinking for 72 hours?

Accept the challenge by visiting NCADD’s Facebook page.

If you find it difficult to go 3 days without drinking, this may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. For more information or to seek help, please contact:

In Kenosha: The Hope Council

National Resources:
NCADD
Alcoholics Anonymous

Witten by: Erin Davis, WCH Program Development Coordinator

10 Things You Can Do To Support Survivors Of Sexual Assault.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and in honor of SAAM – here are “10 things you can do to support survivors of sexual assault”

1. Listen.  Survivors need to be heard and it’s important that we bear witness to their experience. Listen without judging and listen without fixating over what you are going to say next. Listen without freaking out over the accounting of the events of violence and abuse.  Just listen to what they have to say and allow them to be truly heard. Most people who did not report their assaults decided not to because they “thought it was not important enough” or that “no one would want to hear about it.” 
2. Believe.  End Violence Against Women International has a campaign called “Start by Believing” – and it really is that simple – you need to start by believing what the survivor tells you is true. Never question the power of actually telling a survivor you believe them. Tell them directly: “I believe you.”  This may be the only time they hear those words. A lot of survivors never report their assault because they are afraid that no one will believe them. Many survivors will have to spend their whole lives trying to convince authorities that what happened to them was real: from the police (should your friend choose to report the incident), to the court (if the case ever even gets there), and to the media (and the way it handles rape and rape victims).  They will have their account of the assault repeatedly challenged and de-legitimized throughout their life.
3. Ask how you can help.  Sometimes we may feel like we know what to do in this situation or may want to immediately seek help for the victim. We must remember that this is not about us and it is more useful to ask “What would be helpful?” instead of taking control of the situation.
4. Combat victim blaming and rape culture. Ever heard someone make a rape joke? Every heard someone blame a victim of rape because of what they were wearing or where they were? Ever heard someone use the word rape to describe beating a video game? Ever heard someone say she really wanted it or state that no means they are just playing hard to get? Challenge and confront these when they happen!  If it is your friend or relative saying these things, do not worry about hurting their feelings; let them know how this hurts survivors. Look for these teachable moments and educate them on why what they are saying is hurtful and perpetuating violence against women.
5. Confront Harmful Language. Language is used in our culture to describe women oftentimes objectifies them. Take the time to educate your community, family, and friends about how harmful this language is. The next time you hear someone using language that objectifies women confront them.
6. Debunk the myth of alcohol/medication or other substances. Alcohol, medication or ANY other drug doesn’t cause rape. Rapists cause rape!  Many people have heard victim blaming language when it comes to a victim drinking alcohol, taking sleeping pills, or using other substances before their assault.  Just because a person had something to drink or took medication does not mean the person asked for the assault to happen and nor is to blame for it.  Let them know that just because they had alcohol or other substances does not mean they deserved the assault to happen.
7. Hold Sex Offenders Accountable for their Actions. Do not let abusers make excuses for their behavior such as; blaming the victim, citing alcohol or other drugs .Our culture, the media and the criminal justice system spends a lot of time blaming the victim but doesn’t  blame the person who committed the crime.  Shift the responsibility for the crime back on to the offender, where it belongs, and away from the victim.
8. Volunteer your time and resources!  Women’s and Children’s Horizons has many opportunities to volunteer. Commit your time to improve the lives of survivors of sexual assault and make our community a safer place.  Give of your resources to insure the important work of WCH continues. There are many ways to support the work of WCH. You can give financially, in kind, or support Nifty Thrifty, our resale shop.
9. Have Conversations with Men in Your Life. Because victim blaming will not prevent rape, what needs to change is the conversations that we are having with men about all of these issues. Educating on consent and sending messages to men to be accountable for their actions and behavior shifts the focus onto them and clears away any misunderstandings that may not come out otherwise. Men need to realize the responsibility to prevent rape is on them. Talk to the men in your life about healthy relationships and consensual sex.
10. Take Care of Yourself. Sexual assault is more common and has more manifestations than we let ourselves believe or acknowledge within our society. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, the disclosure of another friend may bring up uncomfortable feelings or reawaken trauma.  Make sure you get the support you need to be a good ally keep your own mental and emotional health in check.

Written by: CJ Figgins-Hunter, WCH Sexual Assault Coordinator