- A study on child abuse and autism found that caregivers reported that 16.6% of children with autism had been sexually abused. Mandell, 2005
- The abuse rate for children with a developmental disability is 3.4 times the rate of children without disabilities (Boystown, 2001, Patricia Sullivan).
- People with disabilities have questions, concerns, and feelings about sex, but may need additional help making sense of it all.
- All children need guidance in order to learn appropriate boundaries for their own behavior and the behavior of others.
Many of the suggestions about how to go about talking about sex and sexuality with children in general apply when talking to children with autism/on the autism spectrum:
- Start early. A discussion about sex and sexuality can begin by teaching your child what their body parts are called, and that there are certain parts of the body that are considered private. Take this conversation a step further by talking about differences between the bodies of boys and girls.
- Use teachable moments to continue the conversation about sex and sexuality. These teachable moments may be something as simple as witnessing a baby having his/her diaper changed (differences between boys and girls), seeing a woman who is pregnant (where babies come from), or bath time (identifying body parts, the importance of good hygiene). As your child gets older, teachable moments may include things such as a presentation about puberty provided by your child’s school, a news story, or a movie or TV show that deals with an aspect of sexuality.
- No one has the right to touch someone without permission.
- Think ahead to your child’s next step in their development. Your child’s education needs to grow with them. Prepare your child for the changes they and their bodies will experience during puberty before they reach this stage in their physical development. Teach girls about their period and how to take care of their bodies and hygiene needs. Teach boys about erections and “wet dreams” and how to handle these situations.
- Encourage your child to come to you with any questions they may have about their changing bodies, sex, or sexuality. Because some children may not know how to ask questions about the information they will need as they grow and develop, don’t wait for your child to come to you. Be proactive.
- Teach your child about your morals and values about sex and relationships, and why you believe as you do.
There are resources available to help parents and other
caregivers teach children with autism about sex and sexuality. Here are a few, in no particular order*:
Autism NOW: Resources for Learning about Sexuality
GULP! Talking with Your Kids about Sexuality
This Presentation by Peter Gerhardt - Sexuality & Sexuality Instruction with
Learners with Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other
Developmental Disabilities
Parent Coaching For Autism - This link addresses 10 reasons parents have given for not
talking with children about sexual abuse and
why children need to be taught about the realities of abuse.Autism Speaks
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable or unsure when talking about
sex and related topics with your child.
As a parent, you are in a unique position to give your child the tools
they need to be as safe as they can be.
Are you the parent or caregiver of a child with autism/on
the autism spectrum? Do you have any
additional ideas about how to teach children with special needs about sex and
sexuality? Let us know in the
comments-we’d love to hear from you!
*Please note that this is not a complete list of all the
resources available that may prove to be beneficial for parents/caregivers of
children with autism/ASD. These links
are provided as a convenience, and Women and Children’s Horizons is not
responsible for the content that may be encountered on external websites.
Written by: Erin Davis, WCH Program Development Coordinator
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